Cyberpunk 2077 characters can’t get their penises to stop poking through their pants

CD Projekt Red’s long-awaited role-playing game Cyberpunk 2077 is out now, and players are running into some surprising glitches. The game isn’t running very well at all on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One. A lot of the problems players are experiencing are frustrating — like frame rate issues and crashing.

Some are more amusing, like the one in which Cyberpunk 2077 players can’t get their characters to keep their massive hogs in their pants. I’m sure you’ve heard of this, but if not, let me explain: In Cyberpunk 2077, you can customize the genitals for your character, V — you can choose to have a penis or a vagina, with three different penis options and a size slider. For some players, the customizable genitalia are causing issues: Their penis just won’t stay in their pants.

[Ed. note: The following images are NSFW.]

Apparently, this is not only a problem for penises. Breasts cannot be contained, either.

Clearly, this is a problem, unless there is something I don’t know about fashion in the future. Given the sheer number of issues players are seeing on launch day for Cyberpunk 2077, I’ve got a hunch that this is unintended. (But honestly, what do I know? Regina George did it. And if Regina George does it, we all do it.) CD Projekt Red has not yet responded to our request for more information, nor has the company spoken publicly about the widespread launch problems.

Cyberpunk 2077 is out now on Google Stadia, PlayStation 4, Windows PC, and Xbox One. (It’s playable on PlayStation 5 and Xbox Series X, too — but an enhanced version specifically for those consoles is scheduled to be released in 2021.) It’s players on PS4 and Xbox One who are seeing the most severe problems, but reports have been coming in from across all platforms.

CD Projekt Red has faced criticism for Cyberpunk 2077’s marketing — in particular, the usage of a sexualized trans model in a promotional poster, as well as the flippant tone used in much of the game’s advertising and social media. Many fans feel uncertain about how Cyberpunk 2077 will approach sensitive topics that will invariably come up for the marginalized characters who exist in the game’s huge and diverse open world.

CD Projekt Red has also been scrutinized for its work practices, particularly with regard to “crunch,” a common games industry practice of long hours of overtime lasting weeks or months. CD Projekt co-founder Marcin Iwiński said that he wanted the company to be “more humane,” and pledged a “non-obligatory crunch policy.” However, CD Projekt Red ultimately imposed obligatory crunch on some employees, pushing workers to crunch for extended periods amid monthslong delays.

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