Baldur’s Gate 3 Update Lets You Kill A Man By Joking About His Rotten Pecker

Baldur's Gate 3 is still in early access, and development is ticking along, with regular updates bringing the game one step closer to its full release, expected in 2023. The latest update, Patch 8, adds a new class and the first new playable race since the game first launched into early access. You can now play the Dungeons & Dragons-inspired game as a Gnome Bard, and things can get weird.

NME spotted the latest community update from the Baldur's Gate team on Steam. This latest update looks set to upend the old adage that 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.' With the deadly combination of Gnomes and Bards, that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Bards are a powerful class to have in your party – a jack-of-all-trades who can cast powerful spells with just a melody, wield cutting insults as if they were weapons, and potentially kill a man with a pun about his scrotum."

How exactly does a ball diss kill a man? We don't know. Frankly, we don't want to know. We want to avoid that insult at all costs. It's not just testicle insults, either. "Patch 8 features 97 bespoke insults, each meticulously crafted by our team of talented writers who have spent years honing their wordsmithing skills in the Rude Arts."

Some highlights the team wants to draw attention to are, “Your eyes – pools of tepid piss.” “Didst your idiot mother beclothe you?” “Get thee gone, custardous discharge.” Scathing.

As well as the new Bard class, Gnomes have also been added. These crafty creatures start out with an additional point in Intelligence and the ability Gnome Cunning, which gives them advantage on all Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma-based Saving Throws against magic.

Forst Gnomes also get +1 to their Dexterity, and Darkvision to help them see in shadows. There are even Deep Gnomes of the Underdark who get Superior Dark Vision.

So, now you can play as a Deep Gnome who insults people so well they literally die. Aren't video games neat?

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